Freelancing Free Falling

They say going freelance is like jumping off a cliff. In my case, jumping into a very deep hole inside an underground cave is more like it.


I don't really know what possessed me to take this route. I have certainly taken some risks in the past, but calculated ones at that. There is always a plan, a contingency, a potential risk solution and a safety net. I have never been one to say (or sing) "whatever will be, will be." So why now? Why go freelance?

It was because everything in my life, after all, was in disarray. My hopes and dreams were pretty vague. But one thing I know for sure is that there are opportunities out there that are waiting to be discovered.

I was still employed as an Account Manager for a training firm when the opportunity came up. I was in need of a second income that will not go against my work schedule and responsibilities. Being the obsessive compulsive freak that I am, I laid out my skills and work experience before me and opened my computer to look for opportunities online that will match my qualifications. And there it was...this one ad that caught my eye. A Philippine-based company with overseas clients seeking for new web content are actually looking for article writers to write for them. Isn't that sweet? Of course the procrastinator in me also led to a month long application procedure...but that's better saved for another post.

The point here is this...I have always thought that I would spend the rest of my working life as an employee, just like my parents. After all, it does offer stability, a steady income, and a nice comfortable spot you can call your own. You have been spoken for as opposed to speaking for yourself. Someone else is lobbying for your rights as against having to lobby them yourself. It was a safe ground for me...somewhere I was pretty sure I wouldn't fail. But lo and behold I did. Was it that I'm not cut out to be part of this world? Maybe. Did my interest in climbing the corporate ladder falter through the years? Perhaps. But the bottom line is that the moment I actually stopped feeling anything and I felt my senses and my actions go on auto-pilot, I knew that I was diving head first into unchartered territories. The moment the nights when I write these articles became the highlight of my day, I knew that another kind of life was waiting for me on the other side.

The big question was whether I would jump or not.

Here are some of my shoulds as I prepared to take that leap:

• I should at least have some savings. The savings definitely helped keep the bills paid and credit card debts resolved.
• I should have some form of protection. Not the kind most of you are thinking of, probably, but the kind that will give me personal security against any kind of danger. (like of the medical kind).
  
• I should have a strategy in getting projects and look for more than one means to earn an income.
• I should have explored all other options for making money through the internet and other sources of income prior to my resignation.
• I should have a car.
• I should have a wealthy husband that will feed me in case I turn into one of those starving writer cliches
  
• I should write my goals down on paper.

The first four were quite easy to accomplish, but the last three were obviously the result of my capriciousness. For one, it is hard to buy a car when you are obviously just starting out with a new gig. Second, it's not like you can place an ad for a wealthy husband and expect qualified applicants to come straight at your doorstep. And third...well...I just basically ran out of time to do that before I got booted out.

So there goes my list. And no, it does not make for a nice fall. In fact, I am still free falling as we speak. Well, not so much as falling, but more like floating really.

Once you go freelance, you cannot rest on your laurels and expect a nice outcome. There probably is no enough preparation for anyone who are willing to take that step of faith. The shoulds that prepared me for this occasion have only settled my beliefs that if things turn for the worse, I know that I can still survive. Your preparation will not help stop the fall; it's like a parachute in that sense...it only makes for a soft landing. If that statement scares the hell out of you, then you should think twice before going on your own. But if you see that as a challenge, like I did, then get ready to jump.

One thing I've realized in my years of employment is that I was always working my way up. This was the first time in years, I took a step knowing I could easily fall and get hurt. But I soon realized that taking that free fall is not so bad especially if you're not exactly having a nice time with the view from the top. The deep hole of the unknown is not just filled with scary thoughts of failure, but more than that, it is filled with hope for greener pastures. Who knows, I might reach greater heights after taking quite the fall. And I will surely let you know if and when that happens.

7 Years Post Grad

People. Lots of people. The streets are buzzing with people noise, crowded with people steps and surrounded by people's endless chatter. It is the month of June.

June. It's that time of year again when students go back to old routines of notebooks, assignments and terror teachers. Their parents find themselves scraping the bottom of the barrel after emptying their wallets, piggy banks and safety deposit box for their children's tuition.

I am no stranger to this scenario because I was once that student and my parents used to be one of those parents.

7 years have gone by in a blur. It seemed like it was only yesterday that I came running towards the steps of my university -- excited to start my first class as a college freshman. Filled with hopes and idealistic fervor, I came, I saw and I conquered. The time came when I had to leave the comforting halls that had been my home of 4 years. I took a last long look and bid my beloved Alma Mater farewell. And now, it has been 7 years post graduation. How time flies. Bummer.

So anyway, as I thought about my life for the past 7 years that I had been paying my taxes which is indeed an expensive membership fee in the association of the working citizens, I half expected to have found a job I truly feel passionate about, have a husband or at least be in a relationship and would have gotten out of my mother's hair...er...I mean lair. But of course like all the great oxymoron of this world, I am nowhere near that playing field. Another bummer.

But the good thing about life is that when it gives you lemons, you can always turn into lemonade (or at least that's the stuff you read in text messages these days). Life had been a series of ups and downs for me...highs and lows...mountain peaks and rock bottoms. In these 7 odd years, I have had 8 employers, been in at least 3 career shifts, dated but never committed, got myself into trouble with credit card companies and lost my dad. I have lived some of my dreams and failed at some. I have experienced joys, pains and trials. I have enjoyed friendships...lost some and gained some new ones in the process. I have learned a lot about myself and the faith that keeps me going. I have lived.

So if you ask me if I would trade the richness of my life experiences, trials and mistakes for a million successes, a house of my own, luxury trips around the world and a husband that either looks like Richard Armitage or Eric Bana...I would have to say...yes I would. But then there would be a dead silence for a couple of minutes. I would stop and think and after much convincing from the Holy Spirit I would probably have turned down the offer.

My life as I know it, may not be within the terms I have set 7 years prior to graduation. Had I known, I would not have been excited to graduate! Though things may not have turned out the way I would have expected, the turn towards the unexpected made for one heck of a joyride. I keep seeing this nice Utopia of a world I am currently living in -- a place where I am just like everybody else. I am neither at the top, nor at the bottom. I am no longer this obsessive over achiever that is too stressed and too self-absorbed to see the big picture. And I never knew it would feel this good to have just enough manna to live for the day; because I know I have only to work on my faithfulness with what little is entrusted of me before I am given much.

Yes, it is true that it has been 7 years post graduation...and yet somehow, I feel as if my journey is just about to start.